Three Years going on forever

Only three years? That's what comes to mind when realizing we've been married for three years, as of January 26th. They've been so full! One house, two apartments, two children, and three countries... We've been through just about as many changes as you can in three years. People often caution against making too many life changes in early marriage, and it's probably wise advice. But I'm so grateful that God has used the changes and challenges to just grow us closer. As I told Ryan, "I always feel safe and taken care of when I'm with you." What a blessing it is to be married to this man!

We had a wonderful anniversary too. Sure, the day was crazy, as most days are. I wanted to write a nice card, but only managed to get basic chores done. And clean my rings... I need to do that more often. I forget how beautifully they can shine! But these days love is often shown more in food on the table and home taken care of and helping look for lost things then pages of writing. Not to say I shouldn't aim to write more notes to my man, but to show reality. And yet, it's a beautiful reality!

 There's nothing like being just us two! There's a freedom in that, a rest. So although we left a screaming toddler who didn't want to leave us (even though she loves the family we left her with), we were so happy to get in the elevator alone. Our friends were so gracious to take both a toddler and infant for a few hours, and when we came back, Hadassah wasn't ready to leave the fun puzzles she was doing, and reported "I'm so happy!" :)

 The sky was blue and the clouds were gorgeous and it felt so good to be outside that we walked to the subway station. It really doesn't take that long - maybe 10-15 minutes - when you have no children in tow and are energized being with the one you most love.

The subway was crowded, as rush hour was beginning on that Tuesday night, but we had fun talking over memories from the past three years. Ryan had even creatively bought some lollipops to enjoy on the way. I hadn't had one in years and it made me feel like a kid again. :) Which I often do when I'm with my fun man!

 We ate at Blue Frog Bar and Grill, half an hour away by subway. We jokingly call it "our spot" - not that there are many places this close to home to choose from where we KNOW we'll get good, tastes-like-home food! But the food is so good I don't mind going there again and again!

While we waited, we wrote a few notes in our "Mr. & Mrs. Journal" to remember this anniversary. And laughed because the last entry in there is from our last anniversary... Guess this journal might last our whole marriage! ;)

 Chili cheese fries...

 BBQ sliders... had even this usually-doesn't-like BBQ girl enjoying every bite! I guess marriage can change you. My man likes BBQ so much I've tried it more and more and actually really really enjoyed it this go around!

 The beef fajitas we saved for last because they are just so so so amazingly good. Somehow they get every combination of flavors perfect.

 Good to the last bite. Our bellies were full of warm goodness from the meal.

 So it almost didn't make sense to get cold ice cream. Except... our most amazing wedding (groom's) cake had been a chocolate/peanut butter creation dripping with Reese's Pieces. I'd wanted to make a similar creation that day, but life happened, I didn't have time, and I didn't even have the right ingredients. I spread some peanut butter on dark chocolate as a treat for lunch, which was good, but still not the same. But when we walked by the McDonald's in the subway station, I saw their new flavor of ice cream was peanut butter!! What??? No way. :) So we had to get some to celebrate our anniversary with smooth, peanut butter, creamy chocolate goodness!

We truly felt like kids, taking pictures of our ice cream. But it was like a special gift from God. And they got the flavor combination perfect. We were pretty happy to think of having this treat just a short walk away, but today when I tried to get it again for a special treat with Hadassah, they'd moved on to a new flavor. So although we're sad we only had this goodness once (peanut butter + chocolate combinations are almost completely absent here), it also makes our anniversary just that much more special, to have something that even tasted like our wedding day. :)

God is good. I'm so grateful to be married to this man, and look forward to many more years by his side. We've been through plenty of challenges and moments of "what do we do now?" but Ryan always encourages me to keep trusting the Lord. And the Lord is faithful. I look forward to seeing where He'll bring us as we walk together. 

3 years of Holding Hands

Tuesday marked our engagement anniversary. It's crazy to think about all that has happened since Ryan proposed just 3 years ago!

From that fairy-tale moment when I saw rose petals and knew the guy I'd fallen in love with might be asking me a wonderful question, to the next year pregnant with our first child, to the next living in Shanghai of all places, until now, expecting our 2nd child in a few months... Life has been full. And so so wonderful to walk through it holding hands with my love.

We aren't able to hold hands as often these days. I still remember how amazing it felt when he took my hand in his for the first time that August 18th... We didn't want to let go. It still feels amazing, but more of a less fireworks and more comforting, loving feeling of being connected. We try to remember to still do it, but between hailing taxis and getting in with one of us having the bags and the other the toddler, or trying to manage keeping a toddler supplied with food and preventing her from spilling her water cup while managing to eat ourselves, or one of us carrying a tot or steering a stroller on Shanghai's bumpy sidewalks... The moments we have to hold hands are more momentary! But, we still try to retain that connection.

The words of Steve Green's song "Holding Hands" came to me the night Ryan proposed, and I sang them to him over dinner. A good friend sang them in our wedding, and I'm reminded of them again:

One day, far away, you gently won my heart;
And one night, by candlelight, we made a vow to never part.
And then it seemed just like a dream
When wide eyed, side by side,
We faced the future holding hands. 

Years fly, they hurry by, the simple times are gone
Bills due, a kid or two, a week can feel eight days long
By fading light, let's kiss goodnight
And then we trace God's daily grace
Thankful we're still holding hands. 

There's a hope that won't let go;
There's a truth we know:
God is holding us
In His arms...

The years really do fly, and the days are long. But as long as the dress still fits and isn't worn out, I want to keep dressing up for my husband like I did that day for a "dressy date" that turned into a proposal... Remembering the beauty and wonder of saying "I love you" and holding the hand of the guy who I knew for SURE I was going to marry. It's a day worth celebrating!

Capturing the Joy of Our Family

We first met William when he showed up at church one Sunday. He was enthusiastic, friendly, and we learned about him over lunch at our favorite after-church spot: Cali-Burger. He was doing the same study-abroad program Ryan did 10 years ago, and in a month would be transferring to the Minhang Campus of JiaoTong University - right across the street from where we live!

We soon had him over for supper, and later he invited a Chinese friend over for a meal and discussion. It was so great to hear the Scriptures being discussed around our table with a curious college student. William over a few more times, rode with us to church some Sundays, and connected us with some great people, including a babysitter! He definitely used his time well on campus, too, as he naturally got connected with many local students. The semester came to an end, though, and he said he before he left he wanted to thank us for all of our hospitality with a free family photo shoot. We felt like we were the ones that needed to thank him for connecting us to many and giving us great fellowship, but we weren't ones to turn down a photo shoot. After all, we were getting a little tired of selfies!

So last week on a late Wednesday afternoon, William met us on campus with a friend named Jane to capture some of our family's joy...

I had done some research on Pinterest, to get ideas for poses (almost none of these are originally mine) and other tips. We found some great matching outfits in our closet which really pulled things together!

With a toddler, I knew a lot of "sit still and smile at the camera" pictures weren't going to work. So I found creative ways to get Hadassah to smile!

This one was all her own, though... "Are you all done kissing yet??"

Dancing with daddy... melts my heart.

Wispy with the flowers

We even got some of just us while the little one played with the flowers. Until she started running toward the road, that is...
 

Capturing the wonder of her favorite books...

"Where did Dassah go?" (she refused to cover both her eyes - always had to have one eye on the camera!)

"Peekaboo!" (trick to this one? Have her stuffed animal play peekaboo behind the camera!)

So thankful for a husband who leads us in devotions each morning. "Shh shh time" as Hadassah calls it.

"Squeeze!" It's crazy to think that soon we'll have two little ones to hug!

A change to blue, that brings out our little one's eyes... 

There's always something to make her smile, even when she was getting tired of pictures!

Tippy-toes :)

Flying in a field...

This is our life... enjoying moments together while trying to wrangle a toddler trying to escape ;)

I love him.

He leads me so well.

And I still get lost in his eyes...

 When the little miss was all done with photos, her favorite "ni-night" cheered her up and kept her company as she danced in the field... Totally spontaneous to have pictures with the lamb, but they're some of my favorites!

Hand in hand, with a little one following.

Dancing as the light slowly fades...

Thank you again, William, for this incredible blessing to our family!

A Date that worked and a Date that didn't

Finding babysitters where we live is hard. But for our anniversary, we wanted to celebrate in some way alone. We brainstormed, asked some friends, and planned for last Saturday as our two-in-one-day anniversary dates.

Xujiahui was our first stop. An hour by taxi through traffic and we arrived soon after noon. We fed Hadassah her lunch in the taxi, which worked well as it gave her something enjoyable to do so she didn't get stir crazy. She's also enjoying watching the cars and scenery more. If all else fails, we just sing endless verses of "the wheels on the bus go round and round." :)

Our friends had a room all ready for us to set up our pack 'n play. They have 3 children, so they know what's needed. They kept the house quiet, had white noise going, and Hadassah went down pretty easily. We were off!

It felt so amazing walking down the street hand in hand without a stroller or baby in the ERGO. Not that we don't like being with our daughter - we are so thankful for her! But, Ryan and Anna came first, and we will always enjoy the time it's just us two!

For one day, we just decided to forget about the pollution. No masks. They really would have ruined the mood... one day couldn't hurt too much, right?

The destination

Ryan had done his research well, and the place was amazing! The restaurant was small and very crowded, and when faced with a 20-30 minute wait or the table outside, we decided to enjoy the upper 50* F weather and be able to hear each other talk. It was really pleasant and nice to be outside, though the person smoking at the table next to us and the construction going on at the place next door did make the atmosphere a little less pleasant. But, we were determined to enjoy the day!

The food was incredible. Savory crepes, with cheese, potatoes, and meat, are unbelievable. Our taste buds were exploding with happiness! There was also freshly juiced apple juice drunk straight from a little bowl. Wow.

And if that wasn't enough, we finished off with the most amazing not-too-sweet but incredibly delicious dessert crepe. Wow.

We left our tip - yes, the amount of money you spend in RMB seems exorbitant still at times (divide by approximately 6 to get the USD amount) and headed off hand in hand to explore the French Concession area of Shanghai.

By now, we were a little cold from sitting outside, so browsing some gift shops was fun as well as a way to warm up some! We felt so carefree to be out as a couple, being able to talk like we hadn't in months and just look into each other's eyes without interruptions. We were blessed!

We jokingly remarked that everything had gone well too - something that seems to rarely happen in a foreign context. Well, we spoke too soon.

We went back to our friends house, collected a happy Hadassah who greeted us with "choo choo!" and led us over to see the cool trains she'd been playing with, and loaded up for our next destination.

A family from our church has been in the states for a few months, and had offered use of their apartment for us to stay in whenever we wanted, as it's just one subway stop from where our church meets. The time it takes to pack up and sleep in a new place with a little one has kept us from doing it, but tonight it seemed fitting. We had plans to put Hadassah to sleep and go out on the town, to the Bund - the center of romance and pretty lights and atmosphere in Shanghai. I'd never seen it with the lights, and it being iconic of Shanghai, we felt it was about time!

A sweet lady from church was going to come and stay at the apartment while Hadassah slept, but we weren't too worried. Naps can sometimes be troublesome, but Hadassah always goes to sleep without a problem and sleeps deeply for the hours before midnight at least.

Friends met us with the keys and helped us figure some things out, then we set up and fed Hadassah supper. We also spent about an hour trying to get the heaters turned on. The living room one had a sticker next to the right setting, but the ones in the bedrooms never got warm, no matter how many settings we tried. It's the downside of not being able to read Chinese characters... We finally gave up, thankful for the space heater we put in Hadassah's room and the big blanket on our bed.

But when I started gathering Hadassah's things for bed, I noticed something was missing: "Nigh-night lamb." The precious lamb blanket that Hadassah sleeps with every nap and night time. I often find her hugging it, and she's started playing with it more too, sharing toys and snacks with it (if I let her!) and treating it like her best friend. We frantically searched everything. Then again. And again... We texted our friends she'd be with in the afternoon, but they couldn't find it. I looked again...

Bedtime was upon us, so I found a soft, silky tiger in the kid's room, got Hadassah interested in it, and went through the bed time routine. 20 seconds after we tucked her in and let the room, we heard the first scream. By now the lady who was going to stay there had arrived, and I was on edge. What do we do? I tried nursing her again, going through the routine, putting her down again... same sobs and screams. Ryan described it best: "She's crying as though someone she knows and loves has died."

We gave her a few minutes, hoping she'd eventually calm down. But she didn't. The friend offered to stay and let us go, saying she was sure eventually she'd fall asleep. But I couldn't leave her. I know the time will come when Hadassah will let go of her lamb, but by then she'll be older and more able to understand. We had trained her to sleep well with her little lovey, and we didn't feel this training to sleep without it was the right time or place.

Plus, we had a second, identical lamb blanket at home. Thankfully we'd had foresight to get another while we were in the states, mostly so we had a spare when it was in the wash. So, we got Hadassah up, and she happily played after taking some time to calm down, relieved to be out of the dark without her "nigh-na." Suitcases, pack 'n play, breakfast for tomorrow that turned into supper for Ryan and I... all was packed and we loaded into a taxi for the 45 minute drive home.

We got home around 9 PM, 2 hours after Hadassah is usually in bed, but she did okay, as I told her we were going to get her lamb. The joy on her face as she wrapped it in her arms was priceless, and she went down in her bed without a peep.

Ryan and I turned on the heaters in the bathroom and enjoyed the warmth, hugging and looking at the finery we'd dressed in for a night on the town. It didn't seem fair. Tears filled my eyes momentarily. Things always seemed to be going wrong... but we know God is in control, and somehow there is a purpose. And as we hugged, I realized this is true love.

Going out and dates is a way to keep love kindled and fresh, but living day by day, through the joys and the disappointments and staying strong and connected... that's the love that lasts. We are parents now too, and there are responsibilities that come with it. And seeing Ryan as a loving husband and caring father has only made me love him more.

We ended the day looking at the pictures from our afternoon date, focusing on the joy that afternoon had held. Those are memories that will stay with us. And even the date that didn't happen is something we'll remember and laugh at. "Give thanks in all circumstances..." We're learning.

Two Years Ago Today...

*warning* I think I'm about to break the record for the most pictures in one blog post...

January 26th, 2013. Has it already been two years?

It's impossible to capture every moment of that day. God blessed us with an amazing one. After all the planning, I was calm and enjoyed every moment, though I felt like I was floating along in a dream. But looking back at the pictures, it all comes back.

 5 months of planning... sewing my dress, ordering my shoes, finding the perfect accessories... Everything was ready.

The day was perfect. We took a risk getting married in January, but Alabama gave us a beautiful day, with blue skies and 50 degree weather.

 The "Anna" roses had come and been arranged... I had my dream of pink roses, with a white rose in the middle to symbolize purity. By God's grace, we had come to this day.

Our wedding bands were made out of the same piece of gold, symbolizing the union we were forming.

 I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror and thought, "I'm the bride??"

 After all those years of waiting my prince had come. I knew his name!

 It had been so worth the wait.

  I was surrounded by my sisters - by blood, by marriage, and by heart...

These were the ladies who had been praying with me for years about this day.

His guys were standing with and supporting him.

They were the guys who weren't afraid to have a little fun. They'd also prayed and encouraged him as he'd waited. He'd had to wait 6 years longer than me.

I didn't want him to see me before I came down the aisle...

...but we wanted some moments together before the ceremony. To pray. To say "I love you" a million more times.

We exchanged letters of love then too. And then, later on, in our starry-eyed newly-wedded-ness, we accidentally took them out of the Bible they were in and left them in a restaurant. But, as they spoke of how all the days of restraint were coming to an end, how ready we were for each other, how thankful we were God had brought us to this point... we pray that someone found them who needed to read them and be reminded that true love is out there, and is worth waiting for.

Then it was back to the room, to laugh with my little sister one last time...

To share precious moments with dear friends who had flown for miles to be there...

Music played...

 Dancers warmed up and my flower girl niece twirled...

And I twirled too, for the sheer joy of it all! I was getting married!

The chapel was filling. It was time.

 "My" girls opened the ceremony. The girls I'd spent the last 7 years of my life pouring into. It was an amazing moment, as I was able to watch through a window in the foyer.

 Then it was one last glance over my shoulder, my last moments as a single girl on my father's arm...

 The only things brighter than the lights above us were our smiles.

 He was the happiest groom the wedding coordinator had ever seen, and I was his princess.

We sang in worship, we heard our marriage charge, we held hands during "our" song, we said our vows, and exchanged our rings. But I admit a lot of what I was thinking about was: "I get to kiss you soon!"

And it was sweet.

We were married. Mr. & Mrs. Ryan Wolfe!!

We walked down the aisle amid a surprise shower of rose petals- another gift from "my" girls.

We smiled for many pictures, as we were now a part of each other's family.

And the time it took to arrange everyone onstage allowed for many sweet moments of looking up in wonder. I'm his wife?? I was hardly aware of anyone else.

Our wedding party members were from 10 different states... dedicated friends who made it there no mater what!

They made it lots of fun too :)

 We were husband and wife.

And there was no holding back any longer.

 There are no words to describe the intensity of that love. And in two year's time it hasn't dimmed. It's gotten stronger.

Then it was on to the reception. I was the bride who didn't have any idea of what I wanted. But somehow my amazing decorators (sweet women from my church) made it into something dreams are made of.

There was amazing cake that tasted as good as it looked. Pumpkin spice and chocolate peanut butter cup...

And the food! An amazing friend took some of our favorite things...

...and made them into works of art.

We were surrounded by hundreds - our family and friends, students and church body - and had a steady stream of well wishers. And while I was so happy to see everyone there, Ryan was all I could really see.

We danced our first dance... and have kept dancing. 

"All those dreams and now they're finally here..."

We did one last dance with my students too... the end of an era.

I threw my bouquet...

...and Ryan threw a frisbee, just to keep things interesting. :)

We left under a canopy of bubbles...

...and began our life together as one.

The last two years have been full of immense joys and great challenges. We have laughed a lot and cried a lot... together. I love how Ryan wants to do as much as we can together. It is such a joy to be his bride.

Special thanks to Ann Michelle Photography for taking our photos that day, as well as to family and friends who shared shots they captured!