Students Together

Learning Chinese. I now more fully understand the challenges everyone living in a different country faces. Not only does nearly every aspect of daily life take MORE time, not only are you without most of your family and friend's support, you're also somehow supposed to fit in time to learn a new language. And that on top of job and home and family responsibilities that are way more complicated in a different country than you ever thought.

We have been impressed at how much time people do sacrifice for it. Seeing friends who have studied intensively for a few years able to converse with almost anyone and even read characters is inspiring, and shows it really does pay off. But, for our situation in life, tutoring 3 times/week for an hour and studying on your own for even more just doesn't work. Yes, we could sacrifice more to fit more study in, but since we aren't planning to live here for life it's hard to know how much some of those sacrifices are worth it. Less time with a daughter who grows so fast so I can communicate a little more with a few strangers for the next two years? I just haven't been able to reconcile that.

And yet... Knowing more of the language would make daily life easier. We want to be able to connect more with local friends and be able to speak to others we see at the playground or just taxi drivers. We don't want to waste this great opportunity to learn a new language either, as it's rare to have such an opportunity!

Ryan, too, is busy working a full time job, being a great husband, and an amazing father. He doesn't want to take time away from us to study language either, as it seems every day Hadassah is growing and changing in some big way. The weeks fly by, and we're still behind on move-in tasks. Fit in something new?

But, we found a way to study language and bring him and I closer together! It's small - 1 hour/week with a tutor after Hadassah goes to bed on Thursday evenings, plus quizzing each other in the moments we get here and there. And yes, having a lesson together has the downside of less time for us to have individual talking time. But the quizzing each other and just learning together more than makes up for it. It gives us something we're both working on and thinking about, and I just love learning with Ryan, as he thinks to ask more questions than I ever would. He's also amazing at hearing and saying the tones Chinese requires, something I too often slack in, so has been ruthless in holding me to the right ones when we study, correcting me way more than my teacher does, so that I know I will improve with his help. He still has some of an upper hand on me with his grasp of Chinese, having lived here before, studied it in college, and just interacted with more taxi drivers and restaurant staff and so on, but I did get a little further on some vocabulary in my previous lessons. And while he has more time to quiz me during the day (as I'm doing dishes or getting lunch on the table or wrangling Hadassah or whatever), he gets the advantage of learning by teaching (which sometimes helps you remember more) so we're both benefiting.

It's a small step. We only just started, and we'll have to take a break in a month when we head back to America for 2 months. But, we finally decided we had to start somewhere, and something is better than nothing. I am grateful to be able to study with my best friend!

Stories in the Taxi...

Stories in the taxi on the way home from church... This picture captures part of a simply lovely day.

Potty training going well through a whole morning at church. The beauty of singing and hearing God's Word with His body. The first potluck lunch a delicious success. A good nap for the girl and relaxation for the parents. A delicious, summer supper of easy stove mac 'n cheese, salad, and a smoothie. And a beautiful family walk after supper along the river, Chinese flute music playing, a gentle breeze, perfect temperature, and the wonder of bats flying in the sky. Thank you, God, for so many blessings.

Recent Snapshots

I always have way more in my head to blog than I ever have time to write... But here are some recent snapshots of life.

 Certain outfits make me look bigger than others. This one is definitely one that made Ryan go "wow - where did that belly come from?" ;)

 This is one of the cutest sights. I was thrilled to find a small, used chair for Hadassah.  Never mind that her flower lamp fell off the wall with the first fixing method we tried and we still haven't gotten around to fixing it up correctly... She still likes her little spot :)

One of the happiest pictures, because it means I SEWED SOMETHING! For the first time in China! I have a sewing machine again, thanks to IKEA! So we have kitchen curtains that just make it more homey.

Ryan also washed the windows last week, which makes doing the dishes so pleasant. It's crazy how much clearer I can see outside now. Definitely brought to mind the verse "Now we see through a glass dimly" when I'd look up and blink at how clear everything was! We have quite the view from the 14th floor...

28 Weeks and Our Baby's Name!

As usual, though the pictures were taken during the 28th week, I'm closer to 30 weeks as I write this post. ;)

We started the 3rd trimester! And I can feel it! I feel big and much more tired. Carrying around extra weight everywhere is draining. But thankfully I am in good health, everything checks out fine at doctor's visits in terms of blood pressure, weight gain is normal, and I haven't had much swelling of the ankles, for which I am grateful. I do have spider veins and stretch marks in many places, but try to look on them as "badges of honor." ;) Leg cramps sometimes wake me up, but thankfully not as often as last time around. I am experiencing what heartburn is (ugh!) if I eat anything remotely spicy, but even that isn't too frequent. All-in-all, I am grateful!

Carrying Hadassah is getting much more difficult, at least for long stretches while walking. Around the house I take plenty of opportunities to scoop her up and cuddle her, as I know this is still the easiest time to carry both of my babies at once! But between my belly getting bigger, balancing Hadassah on the hip or the baby bump is just more challenging, and it doesn't help that she's getting bigger too. Based on the amount she ate at lunch today, it seems like a growth spurt is going on for her too! She seems to understand though, and Ryan is carrying her more, saying he needs to build up his arms even more after seeing another dad at church holding both his 3 1/2 and 1 1/2 year old while singing. *smile* Hadassah loves Daddy's strong arms, and seems to understand why I can't carry her more too. She'll say "Mommy carry baby in tummy, Daddy carry 'Dassah" in the cutest way.

Doctor's appointments continue to revolve around "too big, too big!" Seriously, I feel that's all I've heard my whole pregnancy... Our little girl IS a big girl, and the measurements are a tad bigger than the average baby, but I am not worried! I keep trying to tell them "this is normal - my family always has above 8 lb babies!" but because I refused the gestational diabetes test (not feeling it was necessary, being in the lowest "risk" category, not recommended by my midwife in the states, and just not a comfortable thing to do, traveling 1 1/2 hours downtown by subway on no food!), he kept telling me "But we just can't be SURE that you don't have it, so although your weight gain is on track and baby is "just" in the 60th percentile for size, you should do another ultrasound before delivery just to make sure baby hasn't jumped to the 80th or 90th percentile! I gave up trying to reason and thanked him for the advice, though I don't plan to follow it...

Another hiccup is the fact that we've heard that in China they don't recommend flying after 32 weeks pregnant. Our airline (Delta) has no restrictions on pregnant flyers, and we've called to make sure, as we need to wait until 35 weeks to fly out. So we're hoping the doctor gives me a flying certificate (it seemed like they would) just in case we have trouble with boarding the plane, as we've learned sometimes the officials at the Shanghai airport do things differently... The plan is just to not call too much attention to ourselves, dress in looser clothes, and pray there's no problem.

I have really enjoyed emailing out midwife, and she recommended I do exercises on the website Spinning Babies. I had wanted some more stretches and exercises good for pregnancy, and these are supposed to help encourage baby to be in the ideal anterior position. Hadassah was posterior, which made for a harder labor and delivery. No clue if the exercises will "work" that way, but they and the stretches just feel so good, that they're at least helping pregnancy be easier! I've started to look forward to doing them during Hadassah's nap time, as they leave me relaxed and with less tension in my neck, shoulders, and back. So thankful for some good, natural advice.

I did enjoy seeing our precious little girl on the ultrasound, too. According to studies, at this age she can dream, open and close her eyes (I think I even saw some of that on the ultrasound), stick out her tongue, and wiggles all over in fun ways. She was head down at the check-up too, so in a good position!

We also decided to announce her name before birth!

Okay, so it was kind of a mistake. ;) We've gotten so used to calling her by name, that when taking my parents on a skype tour of our new house, Ryan said, "and here's {name}'s room." So we thought we may as well just tell everyone. But we're sure about the name, and just not very good at keeping secrets I guess. ;)

Introducing Eliana Grace Wolfe! 

Pronunciation: "El-e-ah-na"

The meaning is special to us; "Eliana" means "My God has answered" and with all of the questions and seeking Him for direction from the time we learned we were pregnant, we have seen Him answer, and answer with Grace. He does give grace upon grace. And, with her being born at the start of winter, which will mostly be spent in Shanghai, she will be a special grace during those bleak, polluted and cold days. It's hard to be too down with a sweet new baby around!

Eliana is also the (Hebrew origin) name I gave the slave girl in the musical "Captive Faith" that I wrote and directed in 2012, my last musical before getting married to Ryan. :) So even though it's not *really* the name of a character in the Bible, to us it's so tied to that character (the slave girl in 2 Kings 5 who had faith and told her captor about Elisha so he could be healed) that it fits our desire to have someone in the Bible or Christian history to point back to in the names we give our children.

There were days during the early part of pregnancy, discouraged and not knowing what was ahead, that I felt like I was "captive in a foreign land" and had a hard time pressing on. Ironically, the song I wrote for the character Eliana in the musical encouraged me here:

I choose to find faith
While captive in this foreign land.
I choose to trust God
Though I cannot feel His hand.
I choose to have hope
Even though I’m far from home.
I choose to stand strong
Though I feel so all alone.
I choose to find faith…
God please give me the faith…
I choose to find faith… in captivity.

It's our prayer that our girl Eliana will have such steadfast faith and walk in grace.

We'll call her Ellie for short, which I like as much as the full, more flowery name Eliana. :) I can't wait to meet her in person, see her features in color, and cuddle her IN my arms. It won't be too long now... I have a feeling the next 10 weeks (since I'm writing this post around 30 weeks) will fly!

Hosting our First Tea Party

With a little girl going on two and another little girl on the way, I can see a lot of tea parties in my future. :) Which I am thrilled about! After all, an excuse to enter into childhood again, especially when I was a girly girl myself? I'll take it!

 It was fun to have an excuse to dress Hadassah up, and she seemed to enjoy it more this time. She's definitely getting into anything "pretty" and seemed to like her fluffy dress.

 As soon as the table was decorated this morning, Hadassah kept wanting to sit down at it. I kept telling her we had to wait to eat until her friends arrived, but she spent a lot of time just sitting and waiting!

 When I told her to put her hands in her lap for the picture... little girlness is all over this picture!! Ahh!!

 We don't have a real tea set (yet!) - and we actually only had water - but all the color made it fun. I even made name cards for each of the girls. What can I say? I just have too much fun with little details!

 Food fit for small guests... pumpkin scones, apple cookies, star cheese and flower watermelon. The food in shapes was the biggest hit, so I will have to remember that. :)

A sweet group of girls! I originally thought of doing a little tea party partially to thank the moms of the two older girls for all of their help in the first weeks of us moving in. I figured those girls (around age 3 1/2) would get the most out of a tea party. But I was amazed at how much Hadassah and the other friend her age got it, and enjoyed every bit of the process... Or maybe it was just the excuse to eat fun food! ;)

But my little girl is growing up... Bittersweet as I remember when she was so tiny, but also oh so much fun! Doing things like this with her to make fun memories is such a joy, and knowing that we have another tiny baby coming helps me not get too nostalgic about my girl that's not so little anymore!

3 years of Holding Hands

Tuesday marked our engagement anniversary. It's crazy to think about all that has happened since Ryan proposed just 3 years ago!

From that fairy-tale moment when I saw rose petals and knew the guy I'd fallen in love with might be asking me a wonderful question, to the next year pregnant with our first child, to the next living in Shanghai of all places, until now, expecting our 2nd child in a few months... Life has been full. And so so wonderful to walk through it holding hands with my love.

We aren't able to hold hands as often these days. I still remember how amazing it felt when he took my hand in his for the first time that August 18th... We didn't want to let go. It still feels amazing, but more of a less fireworks and more comforting, loving feeling of being connected. We try to remember to still do it, but between hailing taxis and getting in with one of us having the bags and the other the toddler, or trying to manage keeping a toddler supplied with food and preventing her from spilling her water cup while managing to eat ourselves, or one of us carrying a tot or steering a stroller on Shanghai's bumpy sidewalks... The moments we have to hold hands are more momentary! But, we still try to retain that connection.

The words of Steve Green's song "Holding Hands" came to me the night Ryan proposed, and I sang them to him over dinner. A good friend sang them in our wedding, and I'm reminded of them again:

One day, far away, you gently won my heart;
And one night, by candlelight, we made a vow to never part.
And then it seemed just like a dream
When wide eyed, side by side,
We faced the future holding hands. 

Years fly, they hurry by, the simple times are gone
Bills due, a kid or two, a week can feel eight days long
By fading light, let's kiss goodnight
And then we trace God's daily grace
Thankful we're still holding hands. 

There's a hope that won't let go;
There's a truth we know:
God is holding us
In His arms...

The years really do fly, and the days are long. But as long as the dress still fits and isn't worn out, I want to keep dressing up for my husband like I did that day for a "dressy date" that turned into a proposal... Remembering the beauty and wonder of saying "I love you" and holding the hand of the guy who I knew for SURE I was going to marry. It's a day worth celebrating!

Friday evening by the river

On Friday afternoon as I hung up yet another load of laundry, I felt a cool breeze coming through the open balcony windows. That, combined with the Friday urge I often get to just get out of the house and away prompted me to call Ryan to ask if he was fine with us going on a picnic for supper. He's always ready for a spontaneous adventure, so I set about finding food to bring, excited at the thought of getting out. 

It's summer. Yet we've not been able to do many "summer" things, between lots of energy spent trying to figure out what we were doing, and then a month of moving craziness. And then there's the heat... So it was extra special to have a breezy evening and a peaceful picnic at a not-very-crowded park by the river!

 Hadassah is getting more and more exploratory. While we paused for other pictures, she set off down this path, carefully stepping over each crack. The camera soon turned her direction. ;)

 Good food, great breeze, and getting to watch boats passing by! The only downside was prickly grass, but we had a bag for Hadassah to sit on and as long as we didn't shift position, the poking sensation stopped being too noticeable.

Beautiful crepe myrtle trees were in bloom. With "Hadassah" meaning "myrtle" as one of the meanings, we had more reason to get a picture. :)

 Hadassah is getting more and more expressive, and often recounts things over and over after they happen. Here she may have been telling the story of how the "BIG boat" let out a loud "honk!" as it went by (scaring her and causing her to cling to Mommy for a while - but later being the most interesting thing of the evening to her).

 As we left, the sky was the most beautiful blue... The air here has been so clear lately that I've not even bothered to check the AQI. It feels like such a freeing thing to just go outside if the weather is nice! And blue sky like this always makes me look in wonder...

I love the look of Hadassah leaning on Ryan's shoulder. He's such a good Daddy. We thought we might have to walk for a while to find a taxi, but thanks to Ryan's new phone with 4G that actually works and his new skills at using a Chinese taxi app, we got one to come out to where we were! Life is definitely easier with that app!

Today we went swimming for the second weekend in a row. Hadassah absolutely LOVES it. It took her a while to warm up to it (literally - the water was cool and she didn't want to get in at first) but this second time around she knew how fun it was that she didn't protest too much as we bobbed up and down to get wet. She enjoys kicking her arms and legs and wants to swim just like daddy. :) It gives us all good exercise, and is such fun to see Hadassah have such joy in the water. It's also nice to be doing normal summer-y things... Though I know the season is almost at it's end!