Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Dishes in the Sink...

Dirty dishes stacked, spilling out of the sink... it's a sight that has always discouraged me. I don't like starting a new day cleaning up yesterday's mess!

But one way marriage has been good for me is that while I can tend towards being a (mild) neat freak, Ryan, while he enjoys a clean house and thanks me for it, isn't as bothered by messes. He easily overlooks them, and his priorities are in different, better places.

Evenings are precious time together to read, walk, sing, pray, or spend time with friends. While I would naturally  clean up after supper, Ryan often wants that time to be together - he just got home from work in time for dinner, and it's time to connect. So I'm learning to choose to look away from the sink and into the eyes of my love. We're building memories that last, a relationship with a strong foundation of quality time.

And those dirty dishes? Ryan surprised me early in on marriage one day by thanking me for them. He'd gone into the kitchen before me, and said when he saw the dishes, it reminded him of a great evening and made him think, "My wife loves me."

While I'll still take the times I can to do dishes at night (while Ryan sings and plays at the piano, reads to me, or completes a one-man task), I'm learning it's sometimes better to leave them. Showing my husband love is more important than having a spotless house.

The site of those dishes still makes me sigh inside, but ever more they're a reminder of my love for Ryan. They make me smile, as I remember the evening that left them there. So, as times to choose love over perfectionism arise, I'll keep leaving dishes in the sink...

1 comment:

  1. Anna, this post provokes a lot of thought for me around my relationship with my husband of thirty years. Thank you for putting your thoughts so eloquently and succinctly.

    Also thanks to Ryan for his appreciation of time with you and Baby Hadassah; the strong foundation you're building will be the most important thing you do during these early family days.