At the end of 2015, I read Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts. I don't know why it took me so long to pick it up. Friends had recommended it before, but it just wasn't something I thought I really needed. I was wrong. It challenged me about the way I thought about life, and how I would react to situations good and bad. It challenged me to be more thankful. So with the dawn of a new year, I resolved that it would be a year of thankfulness. And what a wonderful blessing that outlook has been.
3. The ability to nourish a baby.
4. The toddler's curiosity.
7. H saying "don't worry, I'm right here!" to E and E smiling really big!
I put pen to paper on January 1st, to record many small moments, reasons to give thanks. I'd aim for my "one thousand gifts" this year, I decided. By the end of that day, I had over 100, and by the end of the month, I had 1,000. So I changed my goal to 10,000 - "Ten Thousand reasons for my heart to find" as the song by Matt Redman goes.
50. The look in my husband's eyes as he thanks God for this China experience.
52. Hadassah's giggles during "kisses kisses!"
131. "A-goo" from Ellie.
323. Giggles over a dangling bow.
The writing and recording ebbed and flowed. Some days I didn't write anything, other days I filled three pages. But even after long breaks of busyness I always came back, by God's grace. Partly because I had a goal and I don't like to leave things undone, but partly because giving thanks and recording them became a habit. Such a good habit.
539. H's favorite thing to sing: "Heaven's gates are open wide - He's alive! He's alive!"
914. The way asking about a baby softens everyone.
1,251. Hanging laundry in beautiful morning air.
1,419. Skyping my parents... Reminded of how precious just seeing their faces is.
1,432. "But I'm a little bit snuffy!" from H. :)
Sometimes I really didn't feel like being grateful. But stopping to reflect, starting to write, suddenly I would realize all of the many reasons I had to be grateful. Sometimes I had to look in the things I was annoyed by, yet there they were:
1,501. Crumbs on the floor... little ones in the house!
1,502. Dirty dishes in the sink... We have plenty of food to eat!
1,503. Laundry, always laundry... I have a family to care for!
I still fail. I still look on the negative side of things far more than I'd like. I still fret when it seems we've been sick more often in the past two months than not. I still have much to grow in this area of thankfulness. It will be a life-long journey.
1,703. "Pacaroni" - H's rendition of pepperoni
1,710. Ellie's sleepy song.
But at the end of a year of purposeful thanksgiving, I feel changed. My outlook is more thankful than it used to be. God's blessings abound. Everywhere. And it's catching. I'd start to give thanks out loud when we walked outside: "God, thank You for the trees. Thank You for the blue sky! Thank you for the sound of birds..." and Hadassah picked it up. She'd chime in with me, and sometimes she'd start it when we walked outside: "God, thank You for the beautiful, beautiful day!" My favorite was when she said, "God, thank you so so so much for Ellie's fluffy fluffy cheeks!"
4,262. Weather warm enough for a family walk after dinner.
4,417. A quite satisfying rock "ker-splash!"
4,490. The Lord has blessed me and kept me, made His face to shine upon me, been gracious to me, and given me peace!"
4,689. Dassah's "Good job, Ellie!" and clapping - such an encouraging big sister!
4,806. Ellie's slobbery bed-time kisses.
5,035. "Daddy, you are really strong. You eat lots of BEEF!"
The process of writing in short snippets has also revived the journaling zest I had when I was a teen, but that died when I was a mom. I no longer had hours to just write and write my deepest thoughts or record every aspect of a family trip. But I can write short sentences as they happen. I gave up trying to have them in chronological order, and just write as I remember or as they come. It was refreshing to sit down for a few minutes during nap time, or start the day reflecting on the previous one. As a result, I have precious moments recorded, from Ellie's firsts to Dassah's adorable, 2-year-old quotes. It's a form of journaling I'd like to continue for all of motherhood.
7,163. A little girl who picks out the most-chocolatey treat.
7,551. Surpassing power from God (not us!)
7,855. God's grace through busy mothering days!
7,951. Two daughters doctoring Daddy.
8,396. How Ellie wanted to read the "My First Sounds" book 3 times in a row!
My favorite memory of Thanksgiving this year was when Dassah sat in my lap and "helped" me write down things each of us were thankful for. After that she'd say "let's write in your thankful book, mommy" - probably because she just wanted to help hold the pen! But she got used to my practice too, and started saying "write that in your book, mommy!"after she'd do something particularly sweet to Ellie. :)
8,573. "I showed Ms. Hong around. We be best friends!"
8,836. So many books they're strewn around on the floor...
8,921. Cough drop cuddles in the night... H was so sweet and thankful.
9,066. H singing, "I love you so so much! Hip hip horray! You know I love you! Oh oh El El!"
When December hit, I still had over 1,000 to go. But to be "forced" to record around 100 things to be thankful for a day is not a bad thing amid a busy holiday season. It forced me to record so many sweet memories and sayings from our trip with family. What a huge, huge blessing. I even finished a few hours before midnight on New Year's Eve, and sang the song "Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul" with my husband before the new year dawned.
9,262. Big sticks for the big girl.
9,452. Sunshined Ellie.
9,511. Driving on open road with girls asleep in the back seat.
9,512. Talking about anything and everything with my man.
And with the start of a new year, I'm setting pen to paper again. Still writing. Still numbering reasons to give thanks. It's become a habit and an inspiration of joy. I may not aim for 10,000 this year - though who knows, I might have some goals because goals keep me motivated - but I hope that this recording of God's faithfulness becomes a life-long habit. Because He gives me reasons to praise Him too innumerable to name. But I can at least try. :)
9,999. Opportunity to see God's glory in the next 365 days.
10,000. "A man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps" - such peace for 2017.